It didn't take me but an hour before I knocked at her door with this plee of help. She looked approvingly at my modest attire of a white blouse and floral wrap skirt as I sat down in her office. I silently hoped that this talk wasn't going to be another useless addition to the others collecting dust up in my brain somewhere.
She addresses my status. You love art, you love your classes, you love your professors, you love what God has decided for your future, but you don't want to work for it.
I was barely capable of holding in the deep sobs and hot tears that that statement provoked. Totally ridiculous! I work my butt off. Without a word from me she knew she had lost my desire to have a conversation with her anymore. In efforts to engage me back into the conversation, she went back to the beginning. You're good at what you do. She went on to say that God gives me the abilities but he doesn't pick me up and make me do them. I have to work for beauty and greatness. My work will only get better and better when I offer myself fully to God.
Then finally, it was evident to me that she was talking about my true desires and passions.
It felt very personal when she started using my name. Overall Kali, your one true passion is God. And that's your answer. Give Him back what He has given you. Kali, if you work to truly glorify God, He is going to give you more pleasure than the most excellent and beautiful precise piece of work will ever give you. You will see God in your work, and so will others. It's not about your pleasure as much as it is about your ability to work for the Lord. God doesn't hold back on pleasure but instead of finding pleasure in your talent, let it be offered from God. Enjoy the finish line enough to understand that you will not always enjoy the process of getting there. Is the difficult process worth the accomplishment and love of the end result? Free talent happens once every other perfect person.
As I got up out of the chair I reached out to shake her hand in deep regards of gratitude. I left wondering through all the thoughts she left to race through my brain. There was so much beauty in that conversation. I so badly wanted all of that to apply in my life at the snap of a couple fingers. Although, the highlighted focus of this post is beauty truly doesn't come without work.
I'm mainly writing this so that when I feel tired and do not want to go through the process, I can come back and read this. That talk gave me the biggest spoon full of sugar I needed in my life of education and purpose.
I love the Lord
I love His purpose for my life
and I am willingly able to walk through the process of hard work for the glory of the Lord.
Let the people witness his joy.
Let the people witness his talents.
and Lord, let your glory be revealed in the hearts of your people.
Let all be willing.
